Life

My Warranty Has Expired, It’s My Birthday

Juli Hoffman

First of all, a disclaimer:  I hurt my right wrist and thumb this weekend, so I’m attempting to use my Kindle to write this post.  Also, if any of this doesn’t make sense, we can blame that, my one-handed typing, and any meds I may have taken.  Don’t say I didn’t attempt to warn you.

I’m a year older, and apparently, this is the birthday where my warranty FINALLY expired.  Who knew?  I’m de-evolving.  This is the birthday where I lost use of my thumb, the thing that separates us from the animals and lower life forms.  Primates and possibly squirrels are laughing at my misfortune, right at this very moment.  This is true…and so is the part about the pain meds.  I don’t even have a cool story to tell, like I was protecting my family from a stray wolverine attack.  That would be a fantastic story, especially since I don’t think Michigan actually has any wolverines, maybe they do at the zoo, but a wolverine zoo attack would still be a cool story.  Yeah…

Anyways, the laptop is no longer a buddy I’m allowed to play with, at least not until I’m on the mend.  No writing, typing, blah, blah, blah for a bit.  I’ve also discovered that my handwriting, when done with my left hand, looks almost the same as my kiddo’s.  Sad…for both of us.  All in all, this is probably going to set my writing progress back a tad, but in the same way a snail race might be delayed due to problems with the snails leaving the starting gate.  Do they even make starting gates for a snail race?  Who makes these gates?  Who would watch a snail race?  Have I mentioned that I don’t usually take pain meds?  I bet one of the snails from my garden would kick butt in a snail race!  Ha!  If writing thing doesn’t work out, there’s always racing snails!  Yay for me!

So, besides the whole de-evolving thing, this hasn’t been the worst birthday.  Hubby drug out the gift giving so it was an all day event.  Lots of reading and movie watching.  My attention span is short, so the gimpy hand thing is kind of puts a damper on stuff.  We’re postponing taking me out to eat/hubby has to cut up my food date.  Been there, done that.  This is NOT my first gimpy birthday.  We’ve learned to adapt to these things!  😉

I hope everyone else is well.  I’m living vicariously through all of you until I get my thumb and wrist back, so be exciting, but not too exciting or I will be forced to challenge you all in a snail race/throw a wolverine your way.

OK Left hand is tired and it’s almost time to take my pretty, pretty pills.  Have an adult beverage for me, but make sure you stay home and are all responsible and junk.  Ya’ll don’t need a repeat of my 29th birthday.  No.  This is not a drinking and driving story, but there was LOTS of drinking, and our son was born 9 months later…so yeah…  LMAO!  My birthdays tend to be pretty eventful, sort of like my vacations, but with cake, and booze, and music…  😉

Have a great Juli’s birthday!!!

8 thoughts on “My Warranty Has Expired, It’s My Birthday”

  1. First of all Happy Birthday, anyway. Secondly, I’m older than you are for what that’s worth. Thirdly I had “trigger finger” some years ago in both thumbs….(cortosone shots fixed them) so
    I know what you’re going through. This too will pass

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  3. Happy Birthday a day late. I’m so sorry about your hand, and I hope it gets better soon. This is always bad news for a writer. 😦

    Btw, I’m much older than you, I’m sure, so if anyone’s warranty has expired, it has to be mine. LOL

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  4. I will loan you my thumb and wrist if you’re willing to do a time share on your neck sometimes 😉 ha ha! We’re all crippled!

    Seriously though, i feel your frustration. I once injured my right shoulder and remember what a (*&^* pain it was being one handed – but as I still had a thumb I, of course, cheated quite a bit so was not in as bad a place, I don’t think.

    I have some plum wine left so will have a belated glass and toast to you and your speedy recovery!

    (also i think snail racing is an awesome idea. I once paid a dollar to watch turtle racing at the Renaissance Fair)

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    1. Sweet! I also have some plum wine in my fridge. I took my meds a couple of hours ago, I should be OK to have a teeny tiny drink before bed. He! He! You mentioned Japanese plum wine on FB, I saw it at the grocery store a few weeks ago, and I HAD to try it. YUM!!!!! How did I NOT know about plum wine before? I feel so sheltered…and corrupted. Thanks Jo! There’s a local cider mill that makes a wine that tastes very similar. YUM.

      I injured my right shoulder years ago. I was in a sling for a month. That sucked. OK. If I can borrow your thumb and wrist a for a few hours, you can borrow the use of my neck. Together, there might be enough salvageable parts. We REALLY should have sprung for the extended warranty on our bodies. Me and my thriftiness!!! 😉

      Turtle racing? I’m so sheltered, I must have been raised in a cave. I would also pay a dollar to see that. 🙂

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