Blogging From A to Z, Random Ramblings

R is for Right Way #atozchallenge

A Procrastinator’s Guide From A to Z

“If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?”
― Albert Einstein

R

R is for Right Way.

Do you ever feel like you don’t know you’re doing, like everyone else knows something you don’t?  Do you question your actions?  Do you question your entire decision making process?  Do you think that other people have a better way of doing stuff, better than anything you could come with?  Do you think they know the “right way” of doing things, that other people are right more often than you are?

Welcome to Perfectionism!

Procrastinators are Perfectionists at heart.  Why do you think it takes them so long to accomplish tasks?  It’s not because they don’t care.  It’s not because they’re lazy. Procrastinators live under the delusion that if they could only find the “right way” to do things, to accomplish their goals, they’d be all set.  If they could just find the “right way” to keep up with the laundry, their clothes would never overflow the hamper.  If they could just find the “right way” to organize their home, it would never be messy.  If they could worship the “right” Deity, read the “right” holy book, and pray the “right way,” bad things wouldn’t happen to them or their family.  They live under the delusion that life would be great if the the Procrastinator could harness their Perfectionism, if they could only find the “right way.”

I don’t know what triggers Perfectionism.  I wish I had an answer.  I look back at my own life, I look at my childhood, and wonder…when did everything shift sideways?  Was I born this way?  Did I learn it?  Am I searching for approval?  Is that the root of my problem?  Do I subconsciously hide behind Perfectionism?  Do I seek out the “right way” of doing things because I’m too scared to move forward with my life?  Am I looking for excuses?

Fear, Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Depression…they’re all tied together.  We put things off because we’re waiting for the “right time” to do things the “right way.”  Later seems easier and BETTER than today.  We’re afraid of getting it wrong.  And when everything seems to be going in the toilet, when we can’t live up to the impossible expectations we’ve made for ourselves, depression sets in.  Perfectionists set up themselves up to fail.  And when they inevitable do so, they fulfill their own prophesy.

I wonder…what could we accomplish if we put aside our Fear and Perfectionism?  Maybe the laundry wouldn’t’ be done perfectly, the “right way,” but in the end…does it matter?  Do you NEED a perfectly organized home, or is “good enough” okay?  Wouldn’t it be better live our dreams now, even if we can only do them so-so, rather than put them off?  I think about my writing.  Is it better to write the “right way” and be paralyzed by perfectionism, or is it better to put aside childish delusions and simply do the best I know how?

I don’t think we should stop learning or improving our minds.  But do we need to become an expert in order to utilize this information?  Maybe good enough is okay.  Maybe it’s okay to admit that we don’t know what we’re doing, that we can’t do it all, that we need help.  Maybe we should stop worrying about the stuff that’s out of our control, and focus on what we can do today.  Even five minutes is better than nothing, if it’s done today.

xo Juli   

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7 thoughts on “R is for Right Way #atozchallenge”

    1. But change perfectly, right? LOL I think my latest wake up call came when realized I’d spent HOURS perfecting my sock drawer, meanwhile my living room entry was looking like a dumping ground: book bags, coats, shoes, junk mail, misc STUFF… BUT, the book I was reading said to start with socks, so socks I organized! That seems right, doesn’t it? Start with an area that NO ONE sees but me, when I’m tripping on clutter when I walk in the front door door. (Sigh!) If I’d been following my gut, I’d clean like this: Start with the areas that you’d be embarrassed to have seen when company drops by. In my house, that means first the bathroom, then front entry, then the kitchen. I’m not saying other rooms don’t need to be cleaned as well. Who doesn’t love organized socks? But when you’re working outside the home and trying to maintain it all, sometimes you have to triage, aim your cleaning time on the rooms that tend to need extra attention. Do what you can with the rest. For hygiene reasons, bathrooms and kitchens should always get first dibs. In this particular book, they were pretty far down the list, making me wonder how much time this author spends cooking at home., which is fine if that’s HER reality, but it’s not MY reality. 😉

      1. Haha that is so typical of the procrastinating perfectionist to go get a book to read how to do something the right way rather than just tackling it! I have to have all the circumstances right before I can do something that requires mental effort and concentration. The room and desk or table have to be cleared and tidy, everything else that can be done without thinking must be done first. I have to have something to eat and drink beforehand and alongside me while I work. Even the weather has to be right! And I have to be alone. That’s a whole heap of procrastination and perfection. But often, while I’m waiting for everything to stand in line, I will suddenly feel the urge and the inspiration and just sit down and do it, on impulse! The human brain is a wonderfully complicated instrument. ☺️

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