Row 80

Friendships and Blessings: #ROW80 Updates

ROW 80 is a friendly group that’s there to help writers focus on their writing goals.  Each writer decides what they would like to accomplish in the next 80 days.  We check in on Sundays and Wednesdays with their “linky tool” and are welcome to adjust our goals as we need to.  If you’re late getting started, that’s OK.  Round 1 lasts from January 2, 2012 through March 22, 2012.

This week has been more about reading than writing, though I did get some of my own words written as well.  I planned on working on Chapter Twenty this week, but I had a thought while I was driving home from work, and I ended up working on that chapter instead.  I don’t even have a number for this chapter.  I know it will go into the second book, somewhere near the beginning.  I suppose this yet another side affect of pulling apart a book and turning it into two.  I’m going to have some ramifications that will pop up in the next book, based on events that occurred in Chapter Nineteen, but that’s life.  I feel like I’m doing writing algebra…yet again!  If this happens, plus that, what’s the square root of X?  Three?  I don’t know!  I’m thinking.  I’m plotting.  I’m planning.  Yada, yada, yada!!!

I had some fun playing editor this past week.  One of my friends/coworkers has recently gone back to school and asked if I would help proof her papers.  I’m NO expert, not by a long shot, but I think I did OK.  She got an A.  I’m so happy for her!  She deserved it.  She’s an AMAZING woman.  She speaks three different languages, English being the most recent.  I couldn’t imagine being in her shoes.  I think it takes a lot of courage to do what she’s doing, to go back to college after all of these years, in a different country than she was born in, speaking and writing in a different language.  I don’t think I could do what she’s done.  She’s such an inspiration to me.

I feel blessed everyday by the AMAZING people who’ve wandered into my life.  Actually, I’ve been blessed to overflowing in the friendships and family departments.  I’m a people watcher by nature and every new friendship has been a learning experience.  Recently, I had something pop up that I wasn’t sure how to handle.  It wasn’t about me, but it concerned someone I care about.  I asked handful of my diverse group of friends what they would do.  I was shocked by the show of solidarity, especially from my female friends.  As far as they were concerned, any friend of mine is a friend of theirs, and heaven help the person who upsets me!  I was stunned.  It’s good to be loved and feel that kind of support.  I’m not sure if all of their advice was appropriate for the situation, but it’s nice to have so many different points of view, to help keep things in prospective.

In the past, I’ve had to work a LOT harder at my friendships with women than with men.  I’ve had some bad experiences with women in the past, a LOT of cattiness.  I don’t tolerate that kind of negative behavior.  A couple of years ago, I went through some changes at work, and ended up working in a town on the outskirts of Detroit.  I wasn’t sure if I would like it there or not, but it was the women in the group who made me feel the most welcome.  I’ve never met a group of women as loyal and protective as these lovely ladies of Detroit and her surrounding suburbs.  I’ve learned so much about friendships and trustworthiness in the past few years, thanks to these women.  They’ve helped me so much.  I’ve done a lot of healing, emotionally, thanks to them.  Maybe it’s a cultural thing, I’m not sure.  There’s a LOT of different cultures in this area.  If you only considered what’s on the outside, I’d often be looked at as a minority at my workplace.  Lucky for me I need glasses!  😉  Different is beautiful.  Family doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with genetics.

Someday, I’d like to write a book that revolves around Detroit and the type of women I’ve been fortunate enough to meet.  I’m just not sure if I have the skills to do it justice…yet.  I have the idea plotted out in my head, but I think this story is too near to me to write at this time.  When I’m ready, I’ll write it.  I keep it in the back of my mind.  I think Detroit has a bad reputation, some of it is deserved, but most of it is not.  I may be a white girl from the sticks, but the people of Detroit and her surrounding cities have been good to me.  Someday, I hope I can write a story that’s true to the area, without all the negative clichés I keep encountering.  We’ll see what happens.

Have a great day and happy writing!

Juli

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8 thoughts on “Friendships and Blessings: #ROW80 Updates”

  1. Well I could write a book on your blog topic..oh wait, I’m already writing a book (by the by, just sayin’ you didn’t see my bloggy this week which may or may not give you a giggle).. anyway where was I..

    oh yes, friends. A friend is someone you enjoy being with , and something which I forgot but a friend is there when you need them. And they are there before you know you need them.

    that’s it for now – g’nite

  2. I hope your own writing is going well, Sue.

    I saw that Jorick and Katelina stopped by.

    I’ve been blessed with many types of friends in my life, both near and far. I’m also the type of person who needed to go through a lot of pain and sorrow before I realized how good my life really is. I wasted too many years. It’s not a cheery topic.

  3. thanks for the comment. Does that constitute fan fiction? ich I hate fan fiction. I stuck in that line about Rowling and Dickens lol – and I will be quoting you as part of my presentation next week. 😀

    1. Based on Wikipedia’s definition, I’d say that what you wrote was fan fiction, but I’m no expert. I’ve never written any fan fiction myself.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_fiction

      I’m not exactly sure what I said that you think would be worth quoting on in a presentation. I’m certainly no expert at anything. I ramble. I read. I write. I like to take pictures. My opinions are my own. If anyone wanted to use any content from my blog site, be it photos, stories, etc., they would need to get my permission to do so first.

      1. ok actually you did say it in a comment – it was our discussion about Rowling and why you thought the Potter books were so popularl

        “Why? Well, Rowling knows how to build a world with her words. Yes, she has magic and wizards, but her characters feel as though they could be real. They aren’t perfect. They have real world issues besides the magical ones. Take her three main characters, for example. Harry Potter struggles with the death of his parents throughout the series. Any child who’s ever lost a parent, can relate to the emotional roller coaster that he goes through. Her character, Hermione Grandger, may be smart, but she has to study her butt off! We discover, as the series goes on, she’s actually “bending time” so she has more hours in the day to take extra classes. Why? She’s overcompensating because she’s different. Her character is the wizard equivalent of being a child of different race or culture. Her parents weren’t magical, so she’s often called a muggle, which is a slur in Roweling’s world. Ron Weasley is sixth child of seven. His parents may be magical, but he comes from a poor family. Ron wears hand-me-downs and has used just about everything! His character has to deal with a lot of teasing as well. I think Rowling did an excellent job of fusing the fun and magic of a fantasy world with “real world” problems. That’s why I think her books are so popular.”
        I’m quoting two other writers also but their quotes are from personal e mails.
        g’nite Julie 😀

  4. I tend to have a hard time with women, too (i always joke with hubby and say it is proof I could never be a lesbian – ha!). I just can’t get into to all the layers of cattiness and the little games… like “Oh no, I’m not mad.” and you are supposed to guess that they are mad. If I say “No, I’m not mad” either a – I am not mad or b- I am mad but I know it is silly/childish/etc. and do not want someone to know I am mad as I have no intention of hanging onto it. That’s why I usually prefer men. They’re more transparent and less about “guess how I feel/think” as well as less about counting what you do or don;t do for them. I once had a friend who would suddenly demand to know why I liked her. It’s like “Um, well… because I like to talk to you? I don’t know…” and we would then have to have a two hour discussion detailing everything I had done for her vs what she had done for me and tallying up the score of who was the “better friend”. Ugh. Can’t I just like someone because I like them? Do we have to have a score card? (incidentally she was always determined that she was the loser , as in she had not done anything for me, which by her definition she hadn’t, but obviously I was happy the way things were or I’d have bailed.) I don;t know. People are just weird sometimes :p

    1. OMG! Jo, I giggled so hard this morning, reading about the 2 hour list, I almost chocked/spit out my coffee. That would have been tragic! Wow! I’m surprised that at the end of the two hours of “who’s a better friend,” you didn’t just say, “Ya know, you’re right! Why ARE we friends?” LMAO Bad Juli! I must not think that far ahead, or behind, to scorecard ANY of my friendships or relationships.

      Yeah, I wouldn’t make a very good lesbian either, although I have more than one friend that jokes that my hubby and I are secretly a gay couple. LOL I’m the oldest of three girls and the hubby is the oldest of three boys. We both secretly think our parents must have wanted the opposite gender. I have always been such a Tom-boy, though I like to pretend to be girly when I go out. I still work on cars with my dad. I’ve got calluses on my hands that rival most guys, and proud of it. 😉 I’m the kind of woman who like to put things together. I don’t care if I get mucky, or dirty, or whatever. Hubby loves to bake and I think I’ve said this before, but he made the most beautiful quilt for our bed. Hubby doesn’t look like the kind of guy who would like to do domestic tasks. He’s a BIG, broad-shouldered guy with a shaved head. I’ve been told that he looks intimidating. Maybe that’s true. I don’t see him that way at all, but then we’ve know each other since Jr. High. We were never high school sweethearts, but we were friends for many years before we thought about dating each other. I see my hubby as a big sweetie. 🙂

      I can’t stand the “I’m not mad” game. If I’m mad, I confront the person or I get over it. If the same person keeps pissing me off, I have to eventually drop that person from my life. I hate to say it, but I’m rarely ever mad at the men in my life. If they do something that makes me mad, I tend to get over it much faster. Everything is a LOT more transparent. I have a good friend who’s a guy and gay. A lot of his female friends tend to make some really stupid assumptions about him. I think they expect him to act like a woman and he’s got some crazy/funny stories to prove it. He’s STILL a guy! That’s why the two of us get along so well. The fact that we both prefer men, just makes it easier for us to hang out together. It’s nice to be able to be friends and not worry that he’s going to take something the wrong way. His boyfriend isn’t jealous of me, and my hubby isn’t jealous of him. I think it’s probably the closest thing I’ll ever get to having a brother/sister sort of friendship.

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