Death, Life, Truths

It’s New Year’s Eve of 2012 and I’m feeling unusually reflective.

I don’t normally make resolutions at this time of year.  End of October is usually when I feel the pull to make changes in my life.  But, I’ve been surrounded by sickness and death these past several weeks.  Three deaths in as many weeks and several of my buddies have been in and out of the hospital.  I haven’t felt like writing, or editing, or doing much, but I’ve been forcing myself to do other things, stuff I don’t normally work on, but makes me happy, stuff that makes me smile.

I just finished a serious bit of crafting.  That helped my spirits out a lot.  There’s nothing like watching a project start as little bits of nothing, and emerge and grow into something more.  For me, it’s not the finished project, but the journey.  Tangible therapy.  I’d almost forgotten how good it feels to create for the sake of creating.

I’ve always been an instant gratification kind of girl.  Short attention span.  Oooh!  Shiny object!!!  I have a rough time sticking to ANY project, start to finish.  I’ve learned that it’s my perfectionism that’s been my biggest downfall.  If it couldn’t be done “right” or “perfect,” it didn’t get done.  Period.  I’d put stuff off because “now” wasn’t the “right time.”  I think this is something I’ll always struggle heavily with, but I’m staying conscious of it.  I’ll never be able to create something that is perfect because I’m not perfect.  “Good enough,” is OK.  “Good enough,” still blesses those around me.  It’s not as if I’ve stopped caring.  It’s just that I’m learning to accept a different standard in order to be happy.  There’s SOOOOO much stuff that doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t need to be perfect.  I’m slowly learning that it’s better to get 10 things done, “good enough,” than to work on 1 thing to perfection.  Knowing this truth and living it are two separate things.  Crap!

When Death and Sickness come around, their buddy, Regret, often likes to tag along.  Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve…if only things had only been different.  It’s not a perfect world, and that’s OK.  It’s not supposed to be perfect.  In my corner of the world, things seldom, if ever, happen the way I plan.  I don’t think I’m alone in this.

So, as we close on 2012, rather than make a resolution, I give you this New Year’s gift:  Do what you can to make peace with life’s imperfections. 

No one knows how many days they have, healthy or otherwise.  It’s OK if things don’t work out the way you thought they would.  It’s OK to be happy in the imperfect body you’re stuck in, even if it’s sporting a few extra pounds, a scar or two, and a few extra owies.  It’s still your body.  Take care of it and treat it with a little respect.  It’s OK to accept a bit of help, even if the other person does things differently than the way you do.  Those dishes are going to have to be washed again tomorrow.  Does it really matter how the dishwasher got loaded?  Seriously?  Don’t wait for the “perfect” time to start living your life.  It’s never going to happen.  There are no guarantees.  Don’t try to catch up to where you think you should be.  Enjoy each day.  LIVE each day.  Good enough really is Good enough!!!

My family and I thank you all for your well wishes, especially during our time of loss during this holiday season.

Juli

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2 thoughts on “It’s New Year’s Eve of 2012 and I’m feeling unusually reflective.”

  1. I’ve also experienced a lot of sickness and death starting with the death of my father on Thanksgiving. Here’s hoping 2013 will be a better year overflowing with blessings.

    I agree about making peace with life’s imperfections. It makes for a much less stressful life.

    1. Agreed, Lauralynn!

      Hugs to you and yours. Losing a parent is very difficult and everyone handles that kind of loss differently. I have no words to express my sorrow for your loss. Again..HUGS!

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