My blog’s anniversary came and went without any fanfare. I’ve been working. And working. Oh! And did I mention work? Yeah… I hate to admit it, but I don’t bounce back from these long days as easily as I did even five years ago. Though I did help a work buddy move a 175 lb fireplace into a minivan (just the 2 of us) AND heave a king size mattress on top of a monster size SUV yesterday, no problems. I am woman… Grrr!!!!!!! LOL The lifting doesn’t seem to bother me as much as repetitive motion does.
Screwdriver = Bad
Heavy Duty Electric drill = Friend
It’s funny how many times a day I hear, “Don’t you have a GUY who can do that?” Strangely, this sentiment most often comes from another woman. It doesn’t seem to matter what I’m working on. There’s still this stigma, men’s work verses women’s work. I know I’m only one person, but I often feel like I’m fighting this battle to be seen as a PERSON, regardless of my gender, especially around other women. If a man needs help lifting something, it’s because the item in question is HEAVY. If a woman asks for help lifting, it’s because she’s a woman and therefore inferior and weak. That mentality drives me nuts!!! Yes. Some women can’t lift a lot of weight, however there are LOTS of men that are in the same boat! I’m used to unloading large pieces of furniture off of semi-trucks several days a week: mattresses, sofas, dressers… Many times, it’s not even about strength, but technique. When one of the guys at work needs my help lifting something, it’s because they KNOW that I can handle the item in question. They see me as a person, regardless of my gender, a person who is used to lifting 75+ lbs, unassisted on a daily basis. The fact that I can do this while wearing lipstick and a nice sweater is beside the point. 😉
I’m not sure what the answer is. People are square pegs. We don’t fit nicely in the round holes of life.
I think my personal life is being reflected in my recent book edits. Huge chunks have been yanked out and replaced. My characters are feeling my feminist frustrations. It’s not that I have anything against men, quite the contrary. I adore my hubby. I tend to get along REALLY well with the men in my life. But for some reason, especially in my earlier drafts, my female characters were a lot more helpless. In fact my first draft read more like a traditional romance. Girl meets boy, tragedy happens, boy rescues girl, they live happily ever after. I got all done, reread draft #1 and thought, “WHAT? How did THAT happen?” LOL If that was the story I wanted to write, then that would have been one thing. But…that’s not me. Pfftt!!!!!!! I’m not looking for anyone to rescue me. My hubby is my best friend. I love him more than anything. We are PARTNERS. We don’t need rescuing.
I think this happens a LOT when you’re learning to write. You start out, bumbling along, writing what you’ve seen in other books, trying to figure out what the heck you’re doing. Stereotypes are a LOT easier to write than the alternative. Shoot! When I think of my own life, would a person like ME make an easy-to-write character? He! He! Probably not. Women and men are complicated. In my limited experience, it’s not easy, as a writer, to capture this reality.
I’m glad my silly romance story got completely torn apart. I’m glad I’m writing a mother/daughter story instead, but it’s certainly hasn’t been easy. Fun? YES! I find myself giggling away as I edit. Of course, that could be the lack of sleep talking. Hmm… But Easy? Not really. It’s taken me a long, LONG time to get where I am, far longer than I ever thought it would. I haven’t really READ any books that explore the mother/daughter relationship, and the ones I have read are REALLY screwed up, like the mom is a psycho with a butcher knife or something. Eeek!! Umm…yeah. That’s NOT the direction I’m going for.
I often feel like I’m floundering in uncharted territory. There aren’t many books that explore family relationships out there, period. And though I drag a paranormal element into the mix, it’s still about family, flaws and all.
Have a great day!