The Next Phase?

I’ve received some good news. All of my part-time coworkers will be transferred after our store’s closing. They will have jobs at other locations. It’s a relief to know they will be placed. I’ve worried for them. When you work with the same team for a number of years, your co-workers become your family while you’re away from your Family.

Management still has no news of when or if they will be transferred. I’m still waiting for news. If I am transferred, there’s no guarantee that I’ll keep my full-time status with full-time benefits. It’s scary, not knowing. I’ve worked for the same company for a long time. It will be fifteen years this January. I hope things go well. I’ve heard rumors that are hopeful, but nothing’s concrete.

I try to keep positive, but I’m scared. It’s easier while I’m at work. There’s soooo much to do. The time flies by! Yesterday, we put up our signage, letting the public officially know about the store closing. You’d think it would be depressing, but it was kind of…festive. Everyone had a job to do. Everything was on sale. I played the part of the perky announcer on the P.A. There was a time when I was afraid to talk to so many people at once.   It’s strange to hear your own voice broadcasted across the entire store. But over the years, I’ve gotten used to it. It doesn’t bother me anymore. (Sometimes, it’s even fun.) I feel like an announcer at an amusement park. “Keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times until it comes to a complete stop…” You learn to talk over the P.A. in a singsong, carnival voice, but instead of hocking teddy bears in exchange for throwing darts, it’s about selling sofas, and mattresses, and dining room sets. Oh my!

I was such a shy child.   I never dreamed I’d make a living by talking to strangers. I never thought I’d grow strong enough to lift heavy furniture…and NOT smudge my lipstick. LOL   I didn’t see myself as a leader. I was so afraid of everything. I didn’t think of confidence as something that can grow and mature with time. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible to enjoy all this and more.

I feel like I’m at a crossroads. Where will I go? What’s the next phase going to look like? I wish I had more information. I wish I had the guts to take matters into my own hands. It would be better if I were the one making all of the decisions, not someone else. At the same time, when you’ve invested fifteen years in the same company, it’s not easy, or practical, to walk away from it all.   I can’t afford to take a cut in pay.   I don’t know if I want to start over from scratch! I like paid vacations and 401K. I have my Family to consider.

Maybe I should play the lottery. I might have a dollar to spare. If nothing else, I’d get a dollar’s worth of entertainment out of the deal! It doesn’t take much to amuse me.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to keep my head up, work hard, and try not to act as lost as I feel.  JH