A Procrastinator’s Guide From A to Z
“Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul. Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first.”
― Wayne Cordeiro
Procrastinators hate to be reminded of their failings. They despise the scrutiny of others. A procrastinator already feels like a loser for putting tasks off until the last possible moment. They don’t want their noses rubbed in it as well.
“How’re the renovations on your house coming along?” you may ask. The question itself seems harmless enough. It’s innocent small talk, no different than, “How’s the weather?” But to the procrastinator, the question is an accusation. It’s a kick to the ribs. It’s, “I know you stopped working on your house. You haven’t accomplished anything in days. You’re lazy. Weak. Useless. Hopeless. You never get anything done. You never get anything right.” Procrastinators don’t hear the words that are being spoken. They’d rather listen to their own self-deprecating mantra, “Never enough!” Procrastinators feel like they’re not good enough, smart enough, capable enough. When they’re reminded of these miserable feelings, they tend to pull away, to isolate themselves. They stop phoning. They stop sending out cards. They stop scheduling lunches with friends. They pull away from social media. They stop doing all the things that that might make them feel useless and worthless. And the more they pull away, the more they isolate themselves, the harder it is to interact with the rest of society. The easier it is to continue to put things off.
Isolation is the enemy of the procrastinator. Guilt makes the procrastinator avoid other people, but they need to interact with others or they might put off their goals indefinitely. They need the companionship. They need the care, love, and support of friends and family. Procrastinators don’t want to be the way they are. It isn’t as if they like the feelings that go along with this lifestyle. They don’t purposely isolate themselves from the world. They aren’t choosing anything at all! They let go of choice. Period. In the moment, it seems easier to do nothing. It seems better to stop than to try. If the procrastinator does nothing, they won’t fail. They can’t fail! Better still, if they do nothing, perhaps someone else will come along to do it for them, someone more capable of getting the job done.
Procrastinators need to force themselves to be sociable, for their own mental health. It’s like eating vegetables or exercising; it’s good for them. The more time they spend with other people, the easier it is to discern what others are really saying, the easier it is to understand that, “How’re the renovations on your house coming along?” isn’t an accusation from the judgement police. It’s the voice of a friend. They just want you to know that they remember, that they truly do care.