Batten down the hatches everyone! Say, “I love you” to all those you hold dear. Stock up on provisions, canned food, water, and a hammer. 😉 (HUGE sigh!) I’m going on vacation next week!
I know what you’re thinking, “But Juli, didn’t you just have a vacation?” Yes, I did. I sold my soul almost twelve years ago in exchange for money, insurance, holiday pay, and paid vacations. I’m maxed out at four weeks paid vacation, but I can only take these weeks during a narrow window of time during the year. Therefore, during the summer months and drifting into fall, I’m on vacation for one week out of every five or six. Sounds pretty cool, right? Well in theory, it is. In actuality, bad things ALWAYS happen when I try to take a vacation.
I use to think other people were just being silly when they pointed out how much my vacations sucked. I tend to have a lot of bad stuff happen around me anyways. I’m not sure why this is, but I’m use to it. It’s normal for me. I’ve come to accept it and I’ve found the humor in it. I find humor in a lot of things! 😉 Over the past few years, I’ve noticed that the REALLY bad stuff tends to happen on my time off. Think I’m being paranoid? I’m not. It just is what it is. My Grandmother and my car died on my last vacation. My friend’s house burned down on the vacation before that. Family deaths, in general, usual occur on my vacation or on one of the few holidays where I’ve been given time off. My mom died on Good Friday. My StepGram-Teppo was buried on my Birthday. My son broke his arm on one of my vacations. I could go on, and on, and on! It’s as though my vacation time is cursed! If bad things aren’t happening to me, they’re happening to those close to me. If the apocalypse were to come, I swear, it would happen on my vacation! It’s gotten so ridiculous, that my coworkers get nervous when they see that I’m going to try and take some time off. I joke that my vacations are cursed, but they’re starting to believe that it might not be a joke. I’ve had several people say to me already, “Juli, don’t go on vacation, just don’t go!”
Sorry to disappoint you all. Sorry in advance for any losses you may have as a result of my vacation time. Hurricanes, pestilence, global warming…I really can’t apologize enough! It’s happening. I’m exhausted. I’m taking the time off!
I’m kicking off my vacation by attending a memorial service for my Grandma-nor, because nothing says “vacation” like a belated funeral! I’m planning on visiting my last living grandparent. She’s pretty feisty, so I think she’ll survive the experience. 😉 My wedding anniversary is next week. The hubby and I are going to at LEAST try to go out to lunch together, but we’ll see how that goes. I don’t want to tempt Fate too much with anything bigger than that, so any other plans need to be kept hush-hush! We usually have to trick Fate when we think she’s not looking! “Umm…Fate? Is that a dog over there? Maybe it’s just a rabid squirrel. Umm…yeah…you should probably check that out.” Then, “Quick! Hurry hunny! Get in the car before Fate sees that we want to go see a movie together!” Fate, Destiny, Luck…none of those b!tc#es seem to like me! Last anniversary, my hubby and I were both so sick with the flu, we could hardly move. Yes, we did get to spend our entire anniversary weekend in bed together, but it’s not very romantic when you have his and her puke buckets. 😉
Have a great day and…be extra careful! 🙂