Random Ramblings

We’re all weird, but it’s the good kind of weird. I’ve got great friends.

You know you are loved when your friends make sure you’re prepared for the next Zombie Apocalypse!  I should put that on a t-shirt!   I know I’d wear it!  I’d hang it up between my Wonder Woman t-shirt and my 1990’s X-Files t-shirt: “Fight the Future.”  You don’t know what I’m talking about?   You think I may have FINALLY lost it?  My brain is still rattling around upstairs.  😉

I’m weird.  My friends are weird.  We’re the good kind of weird, so that’s OK.  My buddies are very supporting and enabling!  They understand that SOME of the screwdrivers in my toolbox have names.   Not all of them do, only the most important three.  Any more than that would be ridiculous!  They don’t seem to think it’s odd that, being a woman, I HAVE my own toolbox, two actually.  One of them has flower stickers on it.  I think they’re pretty and more importantly; they keep the hubby from “borrowing” stuff out of it. They’re functional flower stickers with “magical powers” to keep men at arm’s length!

My friends understand that I occasionally talk about myself in the third person and constantly say inappropriate things, especially when I’m stressed.  “Juli needs to eat some lunch before she ends up on the news.”  “Juli doesn’t have time to talk right now!  If she doesn’t get this mess taken care of, her boss will be forced to sacrifice kittens and puppies in the parking lot.”  My buddies are used to my “quirks.”  (Before anyone gets upset with me or PETA gives me a phone call, to my knowledge, my boss has NEVER sacrificed ANY critters whatsoever.  He’s a decent guy.  It’s just an expression!  I don’t even like to squish spiders.  I either leave them alone, or relocate them!  Catch and release!)

I’d like to blame my buddies from high school for being instrumental in helping me to become the person I am today.  I’m feeling nostalgic.  Thanks guys!  Four years of riding in a school bus that shimmied around like it was put together with good wishes and a fair amount of duct tape does that.  OK, so maybe that’s not exactly true.  The good wishes part.  I remember the duct tape on the seats.  That was almost twenty years ago, but I still remember.  Back in those days, I was the shy kid, the “good girl.”  Apparently, it was extremely entertaining to throw off-the-wall questions my way.  How many shades of red will Juli turn?  Five.  I learned that taking classes would only get you so far.  Having a quick wit is priceless.

I still get asked a lot of crazy questions both online and in real life.  I’ve learned that the best defense to a crazy question is to always have an answer, no matter what!  It may not be the right answer, but I try to always have an immediate one.

“Juli!  The world as we know it has ended and only a handful of people have survived.  You are one of them.  You need a weapon.  What weapon do you choose?”

“A hammer.”

“What?”

“Hammer.”

“What about a gun or a machete?”

“Nope.  Hammer.”

 “What a about a knife?”

“Nope.”

“You’ve actually thought about this haven’t you?”

“Not really, but I stand by my decision.”

“But…why?”

 I smile.  “Why wouldn’t I choose a hammer?”

 *Crickets

 

Have a great day!

JH

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4 thoughts on “We’re all weird, but it’s the good kind of weird. I’ve got great friends.”

    1. I’m feeling the love! Thank you. 😉
      I bought my Wonder Woman t-shirt just after my son was born. It seemed very appropriate at the time. 🙂

      I remember watching Lynda Carter dressed as Wonder Woman as a kid. I wanted to be just like her. Flash forward to today. I still might need her boots, as the sh*t sometimes gets pretty deep around here. I’d like to use her magic lasso to get the REAL truth from my son when I ask him about his homework. However, I’m afraid WW invisible plane would be completely useless to me. I can’t always remember where I parked my car. How am I going to find an invisible plane! 🙂

  1. somehow I missed this one. I think a hammer is an excellent choice. I lean towards the baseball bat myself. A goo thwack should knock their rotting heads right off. It could turn into a game. I’m thinking golf only with bats…. and heads….

    Of course random objects need names. Otherwise they feel unloved. My purse was named Bob. He was awesome. Then his strap broke. Now he hangs out in the closet and holds clothespins.

    Why is it people always do that to the shy/quiet/good girl kind? I spent 17 years bright red. Then I moved to Mt. P and no one knew I was the shy/quiet/good girl there, LOL!

    1. Ah…but with a hammer, not only can you thwack heads, you can rebuild the city when the carnage is over. 🙂 It’s a positve zombie killing tool!

      My son used to use one of my old purses for his matchbox cars. He was around two or three at the time. Baby’s first man-bag? Yeah, he wouldn’t be caught dead with it now.

      I’m not sure why it’s so much fun to pick on the shy kid, but I can guarantee that I wouldn’t have nearly the same amount of wit or sarcasm if they hadn’t. I take pride in my sarcasm darn-it!!! I wear it like a badge of honor! LOL 😉

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