I skipped writing yesterday, though I had a beautiful, epiphany kind of day. Saturday night I discovered The FlyLady‘s site and decided to “drink the metaphorical Kool-aid.” FlyLady is a support group for people like me, people who have messy homes and maybe messy lives. It’s a whole-system support group and I think I’m going to really like it there. Each day, you get up and get dressed first thing, face, hair, and shoes. You do all of this before you’ve even had your first cup of coffee. You start with 31 baby steps (31 days), then you add on more small challenges. You slowly progress through until you learn how to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make the kind of small changes that will help improve your life. Every night, you make sure to “shine your kitchen sink” before you go to bed. Simple stuff. Lots and LOTS of easy baby steps.
I discovered this group through another author’s blog, and since I’m skeptical about most things, I did some surfing on their site before I decided to join them. End of October/early November are the months that I usually make my “New Year’s Resolutions” anyway. I don’t do the January thing. This site fell into my lap at the PERFECT time. I don’t think you’re handed answers to life’s struggles until you’re ready to hear them. This year, I’ve made lots of small changes in my life. I’m ready to make some more.
Sunday morning, I woke up, got dressed, head to toe, put on my make-up, did my hair, and BLEACHED my sink. Here’s the link on how to do it! And…here’s the video. (Video’s pretty funny, like Sesame Street for cleaning.)
I hate to say it, but my sink rarely was an empty one. We were a “use a dish, stick it in the sink, and load ALL the dishes into the dishwasher once you have the sink full,” kind of house. I could use the excuse that Hubby and I are busy people, blah, blah, blah…but that was then and this is now. No point dwelling on the past. Last night, I did a quick touch up to my EMPTY and CLEAN sink. YAY!!! It was like the kitchen was giving me a big smile when I got the kiddo off to school this morning. This was one of the smoothest Monday mornings I’ve had in a long while, despite getting a crappy night’s sleep. This time change thing is rough! OUCH!
Why am I sharing this? Truthfully, I KNOW that I’m not alone. I think it takes a certain kind of person to pursue writing. You need to be creative, to have the “ability to think outside the box.” But on the flip side, I know a TON of creative people who struggle with perfectionism. It’s all or nothing. Either they do something perfect, or they get depressed and don’t do it at all.
This is me. This is who I am. I’m all or nothing. It’s not the healthiest way to approach life. It’s not easy to keep a clean, organized home, regardless…you add perfectionism, procrastination, and creativity into the mix, and I know from experience that the results can be (at times) disastrous.
I’m sure there are writers out there who have figured out how to balance it all. If you have, you should feel proud of yourselves. That’s a HUGE accomplishment!!! But I’m not there, yet. I have a lot of clutter and I didn’t have a clear, working plan on how I was getting myself or my family out of our situation.
This isn’t an instant gratification sort endeavor, though a part of me wishes there were a magic wand fix. There was a spot on FlyLady’s site (can’t find the link) where she said it often takes about 9 months to “get your wings,” and even then, your home is NEVER going to be perfect. Nine months puts me at about August. In theory, if I kept taking my baby steps, I’d have less stress and more time for my family, myself, and my writing. All these baby steps would start to feel like second nature. I’d actively be doing something that’s going to GOOD for me. So even though August seems like a long ways away, I’m already feeling better about my situation. I’m OK with this being a long process. It’s less scary that way. Besides, all the other changes in my life that STUCK have been slow and steady. As it is, we hardly ever have anyone over. I’d like to change that. I’d like to be in a place in my life where I don’t have to make a “mad dash” if someone does drops by. I’d like to be in a place in my life where I don’t have to feel embarrassed because the dog got out of the yard, and decided to have a nice visit with our neighbor (he likes them) and I’m still in my PJs one o’clock in the afternoon. Yes. It was my day off, but YIKES! If that’s not motivation to get dressed first thing in the morning, I don’t want to know what is. I really didn’t need my neighbor to see me like that. Crap! LOL
Have a great day!